Citizen Kelley: Standing with Local Hero Larry Kelley

Sound and Fury

(Amherst, MA. September 11): 
We in scholarly Amherst like to think we're the center of wisdom.

Nevertheless, often, we can be as closed-minded as many an academic 'burg - and in our most grandiose overreaches we achieve a pettiness, didacticism and tragedy worthy of Horton Foote's Orphans' Home Cycle characters of Harrison, East Texas.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...! 

Kevin Joy and Larry Kelley unfurl the Big One on the Town Common, 2011

Counterpoint: Each year on September 11, Larry Kelley and many other local citizens, police and firefighters help bring attention to this momentous day in the history and life of our nation.  Believe it or not, this upsets some in the town.

Viewed from within the Amherst bubble, Fox News appears downright alien

Larry was called to Boston last week to appear on Fox News, to explain to the rest of Planet Earth just how we in Amherst make sense of things, such as debating whether and how we ought to raise the flag on 9/11.   Predictably, we have a Professor here in town who attested before the Town Select Board on September 10, 2001 - the evening before the attacks - that Amherst should not fly the American flag because "[The U.S.] flag is a symbol of terrorism and death and fear and destruction and oppression."  This was eleven years ago, and got us plenty of attention in the aftermath as you would imagine.

What's rich is that so many fellow travelers here used to believe (circa 2000-2008) that dissent was the highest form of patriotism; now, in our current 'flap' over whether to raise the flag on 9/11 we simultaneously prove, and truly get to re-test, this maxim.

Tell It, Brother

Fast forward to 2012: There's more to the story, but in a nutshell one third of the town electors like to see the flag, so citizens get to see it once every fifth year.  What ???  Essentially, many in Amherst have "mixed feelings" about being part of the United States, the balance know that the town should observe 9/11, and so the Select Board put the flag-flying to a vote of the unruly 200+ Town Meeting congregation some years ago and - like Mayor Villaraigosa last week - made the determination that the vote had gone 2:1 against flying the flags.  The ingenious solution? Fly the flags every third year, to reflect public sentiment!  Then, at ten years, the Select Board voted to make it every fifth year because - I suppose - 5 years is an easier rhythm to remember than 3.

You're Wearing That, Larry ??

As town gadfly, Larry Kelley's daily local impact - and his occasional national prominence - are notorious, and thus frequently rankle the populace and the powers that be.

Flag-raising is only one front for soldier Kelley, and this week's national media attention not the first time he's figured in Amherst's questionable notoriety.

Loyal local patriot Stanley Dornakowski

In large part through Larry's civic-minded agitation, the melodramas of Amherst's high school drama department - (1999: first school or town ever to ban West Side Story, which has been performed in over 3,000 communities, over imaginary "racism"; 2004: righteous acting-out by staging the Vagina Monologues) -  have brought Amherst under Good Morning America's lens and drawn international O'Reilly Factor scrutiny for the healthy dose of opprobrium that some think we so richly deserve.

Fanfare for the Common Man (photo - C. Jones)

Larry is also an entrepreneur (and married to an entrepreneurship professor - they know what-of they speak in that household) who has operated a successful local fitness and instruction business, and had a hand in establishing a superior Chinese Immersion Charter School in the area, naturally a threat to the local public school hegemony.

Now he energetically publishes the fine "hyper-local" news blog Only In Amherst.

Larry holds everyone's feet to the fire, including mine.  He forces the town government to be more transparent, the school committee more accountable, the university - administration, students, and the larger eco-system such as party-house landlords - to be more responsible.

He raises the standards of local journalism through competition and innovation.

We need more Larry Kelleys.

Cinda and Larry frame the real issue

As a sixth generation Amherst native, Larry also contributes much to the community in his role of ersatz local history curator.  The current speculation on the existence of a second photographic image of our Emily Dickinson is something Larry reported on 3 weeks ahead of the local press, and he has the bloodline to pursue the facts.  Larry is a Local Hero.

Remember Our Heroes today

And meet two of mine: Ann Judge and Jerry Della Salla

Mudhoney Soundgarden Sub-Pop Eating Crew

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner...

What a pair of fortunate sons: had seen Soundgarden with Bowled Geoffe ("Hunted Down!") when they appeared at the New Music Seminar summer '88 Sub-Pop showcase at CBGB's, and we were itching for more of the stompin' Cornell/Thayil blend of drone-riff-wailing.  This night in March 1989, the Soundgardeners would support headline act Mudhoney, and we were also keen to experience first-hand Arm/Turner/Peters/Lukin's raw power energy.

Hangin' at raucous Maxwell's in Hoboken, and we went in early for dinner before the show.

As our rollicking crew that included John Keim and Jim Bresson sat in the front room for dinner, we could hear the sound check winding up in the back, and then in walked the Seattle grunge crew... who sat right down at the two tables next to ours.  So this is the evening we "ate dinner with Soundgarden and Mudhoney."

Thayil: Brother Injoys

We had just been served.  When Soundgarden's turn came to order, Kim Thayil asked the waiter about the pasta with sausage and the waiter pointed at my plate.  "How is that, man?" Kim asked me.  "Pretty good, man!" I responded.

He ordered "what that guy's having," we gave each other the knowing nod, and went right on with our lives.

The show was incredible - high energy and crazed audience participation, in a very close space.

Cornell and crew blasted off, propelled by the walnut-grinder riffs of pasta fan Thayil and the rhythm & beat of Dave Cameron/Hiro Yamamoto.  They ended with a medley of Working Man/18/Communication Breakdown that sent the place up in flames.

I'm A Boy And I'm A Man

I was partial to Soundgarden already, so I thought they ought to have been the headliners.  But once the Mudhoney "Superfuzz Bigmuff" rocket-ride tore the roof off, we were sent into orbit and at one point found ourselves shoulder-to-shoulder with Thayil, oscillating in frenzy at the lip of the stage. 

Here is a decent account of the Mudhoney set and the general vibe:

3/11/89 Maxwell's. Hoboken, NJ (55 min) [ Thanks "Tourbook" ]

He doesn't mention it but at one point in "Mud-ride," Mark Arm surfed over the crowd on his back, holding onto the wired mike, made a few mid-song oscillations, and then used the mike cord to reel himself hand-over-hand back to stage, as the stack into which his mike was plugged teetered and lurched precariously.  Amp, Arm and crowd on the very knife edge.

But an hour and a half earlier, we were knifing into our grungy grub together like hungry workingmen, ready for anything - ready to screeeeeeeeeam!

* * * * * * *

Q: Why a Mudhoney beer?  [ Thanks for the account below, Sunbreak ]

Timing Dispute: "I know whatcherthinkinpunk: was it 1989 or only 1988? Well to tell you the truth, in all this confusion, I'm not too sure myself:"

BURN IT CLEAN

In 1988, I saw Mudhoney at Maxwell’s in Hoboken (editor's note: Likelier, it was the Pyramid Club in Manhattan). About 30 seconds into the second song, they went into overdrive. It was Blue Cheer meets Black Flag. To top it off, they finished the set with the Dicks’ “Hate The Police.” I was hooked. (I kinda felt bad for Live Skull, the headlining act, having to follow that.) So if I had any band to make a beer for, why not them? I contacted Steve Turner and got his thumbs-up.

As with our “higher gravities” theme, it’s 8.5% ABV. I dropped a bottle off at the local record store and heard back that it was “too sweet.” I told them that it’s a mega honey ale. I knew they really didn’t drink it because they were able to type afterwards.

Shot-Gun Buzz Aldrin: "Good Luck, Mr. Armstrong!"

All bid fond adieu to Neil Armstrong today in a solemn and private Ohio ceremony - our dignified American hero and first man to set foot on the moon.  No greater glory than this moment of human achievement.  I never met Neil...

Buzz, Buzz and BEYOND

But I did meet Buzz Aldrin! 

My team interviewed him for the Discovery Channel CD-ROM "Beyond Planet Earth" in 1992 and I got to know just what a hard-charging self-promoter this gent was.  We parked him in the studio at Capitol Video on Wisconsin Ave., and he delivered the goods.

Buzz: Moon as Steppingstone to Fame

He did lots of work for Discovery Channel in the early years, and on and on - appearing on-air, on the road, and in special events when we had space-theme programming to sell.

As gracious and reserved as small-step Neil was, that's how eager to make a giant leap for the limelight was ol' Buzz.  Since we were always looking for publicity, it suited us just fine.  Still, when I spoke with him, it seemed almost as though Buzz wanted us to forget that Neil had been down the steps ahead of him.

He'd ridden in the side-car, and it bugged him no end.

So I never met Neil, although when my friend David pointed out Neil's house up the block from his own in Spring Valley, DC to me, we stood in the road and gaped.  Like you and everybody else, I kept a scrapbook, drank Tang and watched TV rapt all night in July, 1969 as Apollo 11 touched down.

The Armstrong family has asked us all - everyone who looks up to the sky to dream, to wonder, or to fall in love - to peek at tonight's Blue Moon and think of Neil.  I will see you there.

"Ad Astra Per Aspera"

The eulogy that wasn't...

The legacy we love to believe...

And Buzz: Keep On Truckin' !

Ted Koppel Out-Ran My Wife !

Shopping Cart Week BONUS:

During our courtship, the current Mrs. Porter often noted for me that her choice in men ran to the cerebral...

No sucker for good looks or a glib line she, I was reminded again and again: she appreciated a man with a strong intellect.  Notwithstanding her passing references in unguarded moments to hunks like George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and their ilk, she pressed this point - that what really excited her was a scholarly man.  Her ideal swain: Ted Koppel.

Koppel: Cerebral

Perhaps this was her way to assure me that, while I must not consider myself a handsome nor captivating escort, I could take consolation and think myself a wise man - after all, what else could explain her wanting my company?

Koppel: Shana Keppola (That hair!)

Now, any canny hyperbole aside, she truly had a "thing" for Ted Koppel.  My theory: I counted my wife among those millions Koppel had no doubt put soothingly to sleep in his days as NIGHTLINE anchor, with that reassuring, somnolent cadence and that trance-inducing 11:30pm timeslot.

Now, in the spring of 2000 I was working closely on an internet (bubble) news venture with Tara Sonenshine, who'd been Koppel's longtime producer at ABC News.  Through Tara, I learned Ted was a neighbor in Potomac, MD - but due to good breeding, I'd never have dreamed of trading on our friendship for a cheap 'hit job.'

Koppel: Dapper

Not so my dear wife. One Friday evening, as we were in the Sutton Place Gourmet supermarket in Bethesda to grab a few items and head home, there in the crosshairs among the flatbread, flavored oils, and porcini mushrooms: TED KOPPEL.  My wife gasped, spluttered, and tried to drag me toward him.  I slipped her grasp.

She closed the gap to six feet and cried out (I liberally paraphrase): "Mr. Koppel, Mr. Koppel! Ohyouaresuchagreatjournalist!!  Ooh,oh! And I always say that if I had to be stuck on a desert island with only one person and it couldn't be my husband, I'd pick you, you, YOU!"

Koppel: Pincer move

Koppel looked quizzical for a second, then my wife blurted out "I'm picking up a few things for shabbos. You too?" (gambling, using the Ashkenazic pronunciation, reaching for the Jewish connection). Oy... 

The picture of grace, Ted cheerily responded, "I'm sure you'll have a wonderful evening - Shabbat shalom!" as he wheeled on his heels to briskly charge away down the nearest aisle before giving any chance for reply.

I helped my wife to catch her breath and make it to the car.  We carried our groceries home, and enjoyed a lovely evening.

Bedtime Hypnotist Koppel

But at 11:30:05 that night, did I catch her standing a-twinkle at the window, looking at the moon....

And seeing . . . Ted?

"... this just in ... " :  ABC moves Nightline to 12:35am

R.I.P. Mike Deaver, My Old Neighbor

Shopping Cart Week, III:

Mike Deaver, credited as the master media magician who helped to create the Reagan mystique, died five years ago today.

Mike Deaver, Deputy Chief of Staff to Ronald Reagan

A loyal conservative of whom Nancy Reagan said, "He was the closest of friends to both me and Ronnie in many ways ... he was like a son to Ronnie," Deaver's association with Ronald Reagan dated to California days.  Mike reportedly saved Reagan's life during a flight aboard a campaign plane in 1976, using the Heimlich maneuver to dislodge a peanut stuck in the Gipper's throat.

Shocked, I tell you!

Although I was not a fan of Deaver's at the time he served, and was not impressed by his perjury conviction afterward, he seemed to be a gentle and humble chap when we would run into each other in the SuperFresh grocery store at Yuma and 48th streets, NW - a block from the home where I lived from 1990 to 1998.

Everyone who's Anyone ... at SUPERfresh

As lone cart-pushers, we passed each other in the aisles so many times that, after a few years of this, we took to acknowledging each other with a standard-issue grin-and-nod.  Once, to finally break the ice I said to him, "I was hoping you'd be here!"  He laughed.

The next time we met in the cereal aisle, Mike said to me "I've been expecting you!"  I replied with the question "What time will we be shopping next week?"  Eventually, we introduced ourselves - "Mike" and "Tom," no last names.

We'll go no more a-shopping: Mike is gone, the SuperFresh market is gone, and I am long gone from Washington DC.

Rest In Peace, Public Servant

The Men in the Sharkskin Suit: Cheskin, Bunting and Hendricks

We interrupt Shopping Cart Week, to bring you:

Today it's big business, 

Discovery Channel HQ, in search of prey...

... but I was witness to the whim and the surprising early success of Shark Week, now 25 years old this week, and fortunate to work closely with all of the people who made it happen, including the gentlemen profiled here in the Atlantic's telling of the apocryphal story of the brainstorm and the cocktail napkin.

Discovery was a budding enterprise in (correction: not '88 but) 1987, fewer than a hundred employees, and that summer's Shark Week represented an early programming "stunt" as Discovery ganged-up (anthologized) 22 hours of shark programming off the shelf.  Sharks had always gotten big ratings, but were sprinkled throughout the checkerboard prime-time schedule.  Yes, these shows always did best as one-offs in the summer... so why not package, promote and see what happens (cue "Jaws" theme music) ?

"Sharkskin" Steve Cheskin - our Fred Silverman

Clark Bunting is the hero of the Atlantic profile, and it is nice to finally see him get the credit he deserves.

The entire time I worked for Clark he insisted it was young Steve Cheskin of the UMD Mafia from whose fertile mind the concept came.  He's right. And Steve was indeed right in the thick of the mix at inception (which took place, the article neglects to note, at a hotel in downtown DC). He perceived the long legs this stunt could have from the outset, and absolutely did realize the concept effectively with his unique genius.

Mr. Cheskin has since unspooled many a week-long stunt for DCI (then known as "TDC"), as well as for TLC ("Alien Invasion Week!"), Travel Channel ("Bikini Beach Week!"), etc., etc.  But none as beloved nor groundbreaking as ol' Faithful: Shark Week.  And Steve and Clark were the impresarii who made everything come together.

Discovery Channel Shark Marketers, c. 1990 (yours truly, far right)

Nice work, guys!

Through the Phantom Tollbooth with Norton Juster

Shopping Cart Week, II:

Amherst Celebrity Juster

Like you I'll bet, I had the unique and magical, private, literally wonder-ful experience entering another world of logic and absurdity to absorb Norton Juster's The Phantom Tollbooth's fantastic images, clever ideas, and delightful illustrations.

Only after I left town for college did I learn that this much-beloved author is by training actually an architect and planner, and has been on the faculty in the old home town, professor emeritus of design at Hampshire College.

I was eleven years old when I first read the book.  We were in Rome for spring holiday when I stepped into the incredible Red Lion Bookshop (then a block or two to the right off the bottom step at the Spanish Steps in Rome; later around the corner from its original spot), where in a number of visits I found Penguins a-plenty, acquired several Moomin-books and the entire Narnia Chronicles, and stepped out to take the first steps on an amazing mind journey with Phantom Tollbooth in hand.

The Portal

We now have a great local organization in town, Reader to Reader, that works to provide books and learning materials to underprivileged schools and libraries in the USA and around the world.  Professor Juster endorsed this tremendous organization and its literacy mission from the outset, and has been an outspoken supporter all along.

My connection and fond memory of Norton is from our conversation at founder Dave Mazor's 2010 event for Reader to Reader:

My #1 daughter was along with me that day.  She was approaching seventeen, and her reading of Phantom Tollbooth was in the past, but vividly so.  As I spoke with Norton, she came by and I made the introduction - and I watched her beautiful face transform from teen jade to pre-teen, wide-eyed purity: "Oh, WOW!! YOU wrote the Phantom Tollbooth??  REALLY????"  He was kind and funny as we traded a few dear favorite memories from the book, although no doubt this sort of thing must happen to him all the time.  A gracious and tender man.

It is hard to imagine many other books that can elicit such swooning favor, such longing for the transport and possibility of childhood.

Next stop: through the Tollbooth in Milo's toy car...

I've run into Norton pushing a shopping cart in Stop & Shop, raised a glass to see him honored at a Children's Book Illustrators' event at Rich Michelson's fabulous gallery in Northampton, and seen him line up on my parents' side of the street in a recent (2005) battle over the structure of town government (Amherst went, to its detriment, for Town Manager form rather than Mayor - and has been sliding downhill ever since).

Long Live the Mayor: Mayor Juster of Nonsense-opolis

Norton Juster is a local treasure of worldwide renown.  He puts Amherst, MA - our never-ending Nonsense-opolis - on the map.

Read a fine essay in NYR by Michael Chabon, on the fiftieth anniversary of the 1961 publication of "The Phantom Tollbooth," and this story of how the book came to be; listen to the author's tale of "My Accidental Masterpiece from a radio interview on NPR's All Things Considered.

Where Am I ??

At the Deli Counter with Mrs. Vice President

"You call that LEAN ????!!!!"

A Shopping Cart Communion:

There I was, fourth in line at the delicatessen in the hurly-burly of Katz's Kosher Supermarket on a Saturday afternoon in Rockville, MD.  Each of us yanking our broken-down carts back and forth, waving our paper tickets, and craning our necks for a clear view of the goods behind the glass.  Jockeying for position....

... when up on the left flank a cart and driver flash past me, and swerve right up the the counter.

"Joey! Bring that box in from the car!  They'll be here any minute!"

Annoyance: sure, everyone is pushing and shoving, but to have the chutzpah to actually cut the line so brazenly - who would try that, in such a tough crowd?  From behind, the hair looks familiar... still, it's an awfully pushy move.

But lo, the counter guys all dropped their towels, brightened their punims, and fawned and teemed to hang their paws over the glass-top like so many Kilroys - literally elbowing each other like Kurt Rambis and Bill Laimbeer under the hoop, to wait on this lady.  "Yes, Yes! It's all ready - won't be a moment!  Yes, allow me! Just wait - here it is, Here It Is!"

Vice President Lieberman

Up from the kitchen comes a huge, 4-foot by 2-foot cardboard catering box, with the name LIEBERMAN along the side in big hand-lettered magic marker.  Instantly I was in her thrall, a Portnoy among the Kilroys.  Less than a year earlier, I'd voted for Gore/Lieberman, and brought my new two-day-old home from G.W. Hospital and right through the middle of the pitched 35-day turf war between Bush and Gore supporters outside the Naval Observatory on the way up Massachusetts Avenue.

Hadassah Lieberman could have been (should have been? may have been?) the Second Lady of the U.S.A.

Hadassah had class, charm and integrity that I admired during the campaign, and as she collected her havdallah nosh, wheeled from the counter to head home and prepare for company, and passed me at close range, I could swear she had a twinkle in her eye for ol' Portnoy himself.