G. William Miller - Investment Advice from the Treasury Secretary

Legal Tender for All Debts

My favorite mentor is Mike Cardozo, a super gentleman, successful and principled by anyone's standards, who took an interest in me when I was a fun-loving and apparently undisciplined youth in the early 1980's.  We were colleagues for a while at CTM, Mike's stopover between serving as White House counsel on telecommunications to Jimmy Carter, and a long career as a merchant banker.

Cardozo: Prime Mover.  Porter: Disciple.

In the mid 1980's, Mike associated with his Carter administration buddy, 65th Treasury Secretary G. William Miller, and David Rubinstein's wife Alice Rogoff, in the formation of GWM & Associates.  When I was sorely in need of professional advice, I'd pop over to GWM and Mike would take me to the Palm, to impart brutal wisdom (such as "What you need is Officer's Candidate School, Porter!  A little discipline would do you good!").

Gee - The Real William Miller

I got to meet the Secretary several times and, when he was out, used his office on a few occasions to make calls while Mike wound up his pre-lunch meetings.  Miller was debonair, and kind enough to make small talk with me and toss funny ideas around such as those pitched by entrepreneurs who had ideas on re-fitting an extrusion facility in Cleveland, or wanted GWM to bankroll the growing of hydroponic Belgian endive in the US, or the character who was going to teach the Chinese to eat cheese.

The punchline to this story is that, although I toiled in the TV and new media vineyards for several years, I eventually found myself handling finance and investment clients, including a series of engagements for the World Bank and International Finance Corporation (during the James Wolfensohn era).  On one of these projects in 2004, my client called me and my team in for a presentation to the CEO.  My two associates on the project (a major real estate developer and a marketer) were both named "Bill Miller" - but neither one was the Bill Miller of Carter heyday.  Bizarre....  There were chortles and bon mots around the executive table, which I relayed to Mike, and he to GWM.

Secretary Miller passed away in 2006.  Some say he had the strong hand as Fed Chairman in the onset of '70's stagflation in the US economy.  More successful was his subsequent Treasury role in the Chrysler bailout.  No matter - In our paths-crossings, he was solicitous beyond anything that was called for, and had real class.

Consciousness-Raising with Ted Turner

Ted Turner believes that men should be barred from holding elected position for the next one hundred years.  I guess he now feels that women are suited to positions of true professional and public leadership.  Nice to see Ted's thinking on the matter has "evolved."

Sail On, Sailor

In February of 1985, I helped my boss, President of the Washington DC chapter of Women in Cable, organize a luncheon speech that Ted headlined, where he proceeded to lecture the assembled 95%+ female crowd:

"Can't believe these girls down at CNN who go out an' have a baby and then want to come back to work after two weeks, put that little baby with a nanny?!?  It's crazy!  Now it's a fact, a proven FACT, that a baby needs its mother's love - not its father's love, not "a Parent's" love - its Mother's love!  Mama's gotta stay home with that baby!"  One of the professional ladies present politely cleared her throat and said, "Excuse me, Mr. Turner, but I would hope that - at least after they have borne a child - you would refer to these female employees of yours as 'women,' not 'girls.' "

"Naaaah, now, listen, Honey...  lemme explain..."  (Collective gasp and disintegration of crowd).  I admired his confident, self-destructive impulse.

But we'd met before.  In 1982 I was writing business plans at CTM for pay-TV sports networks, and we were trying to package a roll-up of all the regionals into SSN, the Super Sports Network.  Ted was then at war with acting Commissioner of MLB Bud Selig because of the rogue move of pulling his games out of the MLB network TV deal to feed his own channel.  We thought, correctly, that he was likely to opt out of SSN (as would the Cubs and Mets, building similar superstation deals with WGN and WOR respectively); nevertheless, Turner and our CEO Bob Schmidt were old jock buddies and Ted came by our offices in McLean, VA to learn more about the SSN plans.

Ted strolled into Bob's corner office, and I wandered by.  "Porter, get in here!" yelled Bob.  "Got someone I want you to meet!"  He introduced me to Captain Outrageous, telling him I was an up and coming second baseman or some such nonsense.  We yukked it up a bit and then Bob said to Ted, "I had your friend Bud in here last week," and pointed at the desk, where a new Rawlings baseball sat on a display stand.  Ted stared at it, scowled, picked it up an tossed it a few times in the air.

Commish Strikethrough

"Gotta pen?"  Bob pulled the Mont Blanc from his shirt pocket.  Ted grabbed it, boldly slashed a line through Bud Selig's autograph, signed his own, and handed the ball back to Bob.

In a later life, Ted launched our National Geographic EXPLORER series on TBS where it anchored the Sunday evening prime-time block, and he supported it generously for many years, always taking a personal interest, joining (and commandeering) the quarterly planning meetings, and treating us to CNN studio tours he personally led, and to Braves and Hawks tickets whenever we came to town.  He loved National Geographic like a young Indiana Jones.

Only women in elected office?  Maybe ol' Jane Fonda got through to him.

Glamour and Boldness - A Pairing That No One Could Have Predicted

On Air with Tom Chapin

"The World, and All That Is In It"

When I was an un-sullied lad, running business affairs for National Geographic TV, I had an assignment to set up our new production office at 1630 Broadway in Times Square.  I hopped many Eastern Shuttles, learned to eat sushi that winter, and scouted the grimy pre-Giuliani splendor of the 'hood.

We had launched National Geographic EXPLORER on Nickelodeon in 1985, then moved it to WTBS before a year was out.  At that juncture, we dropped hired-gun spokesmodel David Greenan and chose personable, charismatic Tom Chapin to host the 8-10pm Sunday night magazine-format show.  Tom would eventually be succeeded by Robert Urich, and later Bob Ballard.

Tom Chapin of Nat Geo Explorer

I got to meet Tom several times in the studio between 1986-1988, and he's a great guy.  Make a Wish!

You will be relieved to learn that letters written to National Geographic Society during the roaring '80's always received close and respectful attention, and wide circulation among the department heads.  Once early in Tom's tenure, for fun, I wrote a letter - in the voice of an earnest but cranky and befuddled National Geographic member - to Society President Gil Grosvenor complaining that "your immoral Tom Chapin" had been drunk on the air.

"My wife and I are Tee-Totalers!" I wrote.  "Disgraceful - by the end of the show, he Had The Glass Right There On The Desk Next To Him!  Never will we watch your degrading 'television show' ever again!"  I used a friend's home address in Hollywood, and posted the letter from L.A. while on a business trip.  Sure enough, a week later that letter came in the front door of the TV Division with stern instructions from the President that we review every minute of that program and "Get me an answer!"  We cleared it, and we told Gil "it must have been some crackpot...."

Clean-living Tom Chapin, deservedly, sailed through unblemished.

 * * * * *

Tom and Harry (whose hunger I satisfied) were brotherly collaborators.  From Circle newsletter:

Like most of Harry's songs, “Circle,” the one that became known as the “Chapin national anthem,” has a story behind it. When Tom Chapin was hired to host the weekly ABC Television children’s show "Make a Wish" in the Summer of 1971, the show consisted of two word topics in each episode like "fire" and "wind." They were looking for a songwriter to write a song for each word, helping to bring each word to life in a way that would be meaningful and appealing to kids.

Tom immediately recommended Harry for the job and the producers agreed. This was the year when Harry had gotten back into music and had created his first band with John Wallace, Ron Palmer, and Tim Scott. He was opening for his brothers’ band, "The Chapins," with Steve and Tom Chapin, and Phil Forbes and Doug Walker, who later became Harry's lead guitarist, every weekend at a club in Greenwich Village called The Village Gate. So writing songs for "Make A Wish," although very lucrative for him, was far down in the list of Harry's commitments.

One week the word was circle, and Harry still had not written the song—the night before the episode’s taping. "After the gigs at the Gate, we usually met, ate, and rehashed the evening at Maria's Diner in Brooklyn Heights," said Tom. "It was late Sunday night, and we were going to be shooting the episode for "Circle" early on Monday morning, and he promised me he'd have it done. So at 6:00 a.m. Harry called me and played the first verse and chorus over the phone while I took down words and scratched out the tune." Hours later Tom performed "Circle" for the first time on camera, walking around the Cinderella fountain in New York City's Central Park.

For a while it was only the first verse and chorus that existed. "Then our mother told Harry it was great song, and he ought to write some other verses. He did--and it became a signature Chapin song. All these years later, we still sing the song at concerts, weddings, funerals, and people all over the world love and sing that song."

Rockin' the Vote with Martha Quinn - My MTV All-Nighter

As an unsullied early-career kid, circa 1982-83, I had but one dream: to move to NYC and work in business development for MTV.  I got my shot in 1985, but before then something even more magical happened: I met and of course fell in love with Martha Quinn.

My Martha: Ah, the Eighties ...

Well, we all were in love with Martha, once she and her confreres hit the airwaves in August '81. But of course I was sure that I loved her more than anyone else possibly could.

California My Way - 5th Dimension, later Main Ingredient

So it's late 1983, and I'm an east coast boy on his first visit to California. Had already hit the beach in Malibu with Dick "Laugh-In" Martin, then rented a car and drove in a SoCal freeway Lot-49-and-L.A.-Woman revery down "the 5" and then east and west on Ball Road, bulked at Spaghetti Station, before checking in to the Anaheim Hyatt on the Disneyland perimeter for two days of the Western Cable Show.

I quickly found out where the night's action would be: upstairs at the WASEC reception.

Deep Purple: Place in Line

Bob Pittman was there, I schmoozed him a bit, hung with the marketing guys for a while, and then I spotted her, perched on a stool at the countertop, and lighting up the hospitality suite with her smile and laughter.  Martha Quinn - tiny as a mouse, and bubbly like new champagne. Chortling along: uplink site techie Paul Beeman, a jolly middle-aged guy from the Smithtown TOC.

Diamond Dave - Always On

What developed next was a boisterous, high-pitched music trivia game between the three of us, and it went on for over three hours.  Her handler got cranky because Martha was engrossed with us instead of working the crowd, but finally gave up and left us alone.  Forward we rolled like Def Leppard - On Through The Night.

I'll Join You In That Time Capsule

Martha really knew her 60's stuff, 80's Thompson-Twin techno/poppy-pop, and folk music, and she of course had the inside track on all the acts of the moment including the L.A. hair-metalers.  Beeman was an encyclopedia - acts, songs, dates, labels and chart position.  I held my own on heavy metal/NWOBHM, 70's soul/R&B, San Francisco sound - and early 50's vocal groups.  It is safe to say that we all showed each other up, and blew each other away.  Over and over and over.  I could hear music....

*  *  *  *  *

We stayed up nearly 'til sunrise.  Paul disappeared.  Great breathtaking fun, lots and lots of jazzy, twinkly eye contact.  Where would it end?  Well, it would end back in New York....

All Within Reach ... If You Know What To Do.

Naturally - what a rube! - I imagined/hoped that this night was just the beginning.  We exchanged numbers in the Hyatt lobby, agreed to each think about a trivia question that was really just a conversation continu-er concerning Van Halen and the high number and interesting selection of cover songs they had produced and might next produce, and we made vague plans to see each other in New York.

Martha in Malibu - I Want My ...

I had to call through the MTV switchboard many, many fruitless times for her (it was obvious there was a never-ending queue of clowns calling and panting for her, and I guess I was one, albeit ultimately with an edge of slight legitimacy), and we did indeed re-connect later that winter, for coffee on Astor Place, and separately, briefly and awkwardly, at the Cherry Lane Theater, but the magic was gone.  She was in her world, and I a visiting nobody from Nowheresville.

I later had opportunities to cross paths at the end-of-'84 MTV New Year's Eve Party, and at the 1985 MTV Music Awards, but by then fate had cruelly decided that nothing would materialize.

Still, ....

R.I.P. George McGovern - My Co-Pilot

He led thirty seven missions as a B-24 pilot in World War II, but my thrill was to sit across the aisle from George McGovern when we flew our joint mission as passengers on the Eastern Shuttle, from Washington DC to New York City, one autumn morning in 1986.

We found ourselves seated in aisle seats opposite each other.  Aloft, I allowed the Senator a few moments to enjoy the New York Times before catching his eye.  "Senator McGovern, what an honor - I worked for you in 1972!" I blurted out.  He smiled, closed his paper, and said graciously "Really? You can't possibly be old enough to have worked on my Presidential campaign!"

What I Wouldn't Give for a Little Un-Interrupted Newspaper Time!

"But it's true," I said:  "I was 13, and I passed out McGovern-Shriver leaflets all over my neighborhood in Massachusetts!"

"Ah, Massachusetts," he winked, and then said "Whatever you did there... it worked!"

Then he asked me what part of Massachusetts I came from.  "Well, Amherst."  I shared with him the interesting fact that, when the entire US save for Massachusetts and Washington DC had voted to re-elect Nixon, our perky little burg had gone all-in for McGovern - with 93% of the popular vote!  Nixon collected 5%, and Wallace 2%.  Yes, we in Amherst were a bit out of the mainstream, even then.

Here is a nice clip of George signing books in Amherst a little earlier this year.

 
At all this he laughed, adding "What a great, great town.  Academic town.  Had a lot of good support there!  Probably thanks to all of your hard work!"

I wasn't sure I'd changed anyone's mind on West Street or Mill Lane, but said lots of people including my parents had worked very hard for him, and were proud of what he hoped to accomplish for the country.  We made a bit more conversation, landed, grabbed our respective overcoats from the overhead bins, and bid one another adieu. 

Rest In Peace, Good Man
July 19, 1922 - October 21, 2012

Joan Garry Is Alright

Advocacy can be a blood sport, but there are some who lead with great class and one of these is Joan Garry, whom I knew before she was running GLAAD. 

Joan and Eileen

Joan is civilly-united to a good old friend of mine, Eileen Opatut, and when we first met in 1985, Joan had the coolest job on earth (well, I thought so): business development at WASEC, the holding company that was building Nickelodeon and MTV rapidly into the megaliths they have become.

Eileen had many cool jobs herself picking programs for National Geographic, next 'programmes' for the BBC, and later suffering as EVP of Programming for the Food Network - yumm, and with a title like that you never have trouble getting a table at a good restaurant.

Speaking of TV, does it seem lately as though the number of LGBT characters on TV is increasing?  I think so too.  GLAAD has worked on this front as well as on many others.

I haven't seen Joan in years - too many - but I like her a lot.  She writes for HuffPost sometimes and here's a really nice article sharing her frank assessment of The Kids Are Alright.

Will TV shows and movies move the meter and get us to a day of peaceable coexistence?  That's putting a lot of responsibility on the the TV and film folk, more than they probably can shoulder alone.  There is still a ways to go: see Joan's honest and personal article here about separate but equal.

But in my own lifetime we are already now miles down the road from the benighted past.    :-)

Mudhoney Soundgarden Sub-Pop Eating Crew

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner...

What a pair of fortunate sons: had seen Soundgarden with Bowled Geoffe ("Hunted Down!") when they appeared at the New Music Seminar summer '88 Sub-Pop showcase at CBGB's, and we were itching for more of the stompin' Cornell/Thayil blend of drone-riff-wailing.  This night in March 1989, the Soundgardeners would support headline act Mudhoney, and we were also keen to experience first-hand Arm/Turner/Peters/Lukin's raw power energy.

Hangin' at raucous Maxwell's in Hoboken, and we went in early for dinner before the show.

As our rollicking crew that included John Keim and Jim Bresson sat in the front room for dinner, we could hear the sound check winding up in the back, and then in walked the Seattle grunge crew... who sat right down at the two tables next to ours.  So this is the evening we "ate dinner with Soundgarden and Mudhoney."

Thayil: Brother Injoys

We had just been served.  When Soundgarden's turn came to order, Kim Thayil asked the waiter about the pasta with sausage and the waiter pointed at my plate.  "How is that, man?" Kim asked me.  "Pretty good, man!" I responded.

He ordered "what that guy's having," we gave each other the knowing nod, and went right on with our lives.

The show was incredible - high energy and crazed audience participation, in a very close space.

Cornell and crew blasted off, propelled by the walnut-grinder riffs of pasta fan Thayil and the rhythm & beat of Dave Cameron/Hiro Yamamoto.  They ended with a medley of Working Man/18/Communication Breakdown that sent the place up in flames.

I'm A Boy And I'm A Man

I was partial to Soundgarden already, so I thought they ought to have been the headliners.  But once the Mudhoney "Superfuzz Bigmuff" rocket-ride tore the roof off, we were sent into orbit and at one point found ourselves shoulder-to-shoulder with Thayil, oscillating in frenzy at the lip of the stage. 

Here is a decent account of the Mudhoney set and the general vibe:

3/11/89 Maxwell's. Hoboken, NJ (55 min) [ Thanks "Tourbook" ]

He doesn't mention it but at one point in "Mud-ride," Mark Arm surfed over the crowd on his back, holding onto the wired mike, made a few mid-song oscillations, and then used the mike cord to reel himself hand-over-hand back to stage, as the stack into which his mike was plugged teetered and lurched precariously.  Amp, Arm and crowd on the very knife edge.

But an hour and a half earlier, we were knifing into our grungy grub together like hungry workingmen, ready for anything - ready to screeeeeeeeeam!

* * * * * * *

Q: Why a Mudhoney beer?  [ Thanks for the account below, Sunbreak ]

Timing Dispute: "I know whatcherthinkinpunk: was it 1989 or only 1988? Well to tell you the truth, in all this confusion, I'm not too sure myself:"

BURN IT CLEAN

In 1988, I saw Mudhoney at Maxwell’s in Hoboken (editor's note: Likelier, it was the Pyramid Club in Manhattan). About 30 seconds into the second song, they went into overdrive. It was Blue Cheer meets Black Flag. To top it off, they finished the set with the Dicks’ “Hate The Police.” I was hooked. (I kinda felt bad for Live Skull, the headlining act, having to follow that.) So if I had any band to make a beer for, why not them? I contacted Steve Turner and got his thumbs-up.

As with our “higher gravities” theme, it’s 8.5% ABV. I dropped a bottle off at the local record store and heard back that it was “too sweet.” I told them that it’s a mega honey ale. I knew they really didn’t drink it because they were able to type afterwards.

The Men in the Sharkskin Suit: Cheskin, Bunting and Hendricks

We interrupt Shopping Cart Week, to bring you:

Today it's big business, 

Discovery Channel HQ, in search of prey...

... but I was witness to the whim and the surprising early success of Shark Week, now 25 years old this week, and fortunate to work closely with all of the people who made it happen, including the gentlemen profiled here in the Atlantic's telling of the apocryphal story of the brainstorm and the cocktail napkin.

Discovery was a budding enterprise in (correction: not '88 but) 1987, fewer than a hundred employees, and that summer's Shark Week represented an early programming "stunt" as Discovery ganged-up (anthologized) 22 hours of shark programming off the shelf.  Sharks had always gotten big ratings, but were sprinkled throughout the checkerboard prime-time schedule.  Yes, these shows always did best as one-offs in the summer... so why not package, promote and see what happens (cue "Jaws" theme music) ?

"Sharkskin" Steve Cheskin - our Fred Silverman

Clark Bunting is the hero of the Atlantic profile, and it is nice to finally see him get the credit he deserves.

The entire time I worked for Clark he insisted it was young Steve Cheskin of the UMD Mafia from whose fertile mind the concept came.  He's right. And Steve was indeed right in the thick of the mix at inception (which took place, the article neglects to note, at a hotel in downtown DC). He perceived the long legs this stunt could have from the outset, and absolutely did realize the concept effectively with his unique genius.

Mr. Cheskin has since unspooled many a week-long stunt for DCI (then known as "TDC"), as well as for TLC ("Alien Invasion Week!"), Travel Channel ("Bikini Beach Week!"), etc., etc.  But none as beloved nor groundbreaking as ol' Faithful: Shark Week.  And Steve and Clark were the impresarii who made everything come together.

Discovery Channel Shark Marketers, c. 1990 (yours truly, far right)

Nice work, guys!

On Deck with Commissioner Bud Selig

Onward/Upward Bud

Warming Up for July 10 MLB All-Star Game in Kansas City!

In 1982, as a wandering neophyte lost in a fascinating and not-too-unfriendly world, I did research for consulting firm CTM to develop something wild called "SSN, the SuperSportsNetwork."

In those days of proliferating cable networks, SSN was to be a confederated joint venture of MLB team owners that would satellite-deliver a program of out-of-market baseball games to cable subscribers: you'd see your home team all season long except on nights when they played at home and had not sold out the park; on those nights you'd tap the exchange and receive the best game from around the league.

We got 23 of the 26 owner groups to convene at the O'Hare Hilton for a huge confab - two or three folks from each team.  The Cubs (WGN), Braves (WTBS) and Mets (WOR) had already cast their lot with new "cable superstations" and would not/could not participate.

Why HIM?  Why not ME ???

2008 MLB All-Star Game - Bud and SJP at Yankee Stadium (4-3 A.L.)

Well, I've worked in finance and television, and had unhealthy immersion in politics and academia - all rife with big, needy, overblown egos - but never have I been in a room with more blustering, braying, domineering jackasses at one time (well, I attended a U.N. General Assembly proceeding once, but that's another story).  Many of the club owners were also very charming in a back-slapping way, but every single one of these grand-standers was cruelly suspicious of his confreres.

The meeting was a riot.  My glamorous job?  Running laps of the giant horseshoe table where the 65 primo donno participants were seated, and handing out papers.

Beer Keg Swings Bat - COOL!

Oy!  One character who was well-behaved, and lingered late to chew the fat with my boss Bob Schmidt, was Milwaukee Brewers owner (later to become MLB Commissioner) Bud Selig. He was genuinely interested in the proposition, and would visit us in McLean VA later that year following the Brewers' heroic October appearance in the "Suds Series" (Brewers lost in seven).

As we swept up the room and prepared to vacate for a late plane back east, I spotted Bud pull a bright white baseball from the pocket of his brown corduroy suit jacket, take a Bic pen right out of Bob's shirt pocket, and scribble his autograph: "Good luck, Bob! Bud Selig"

The ball occupied a place of honor on Bob's desk and I admired it until something else happened to it...

to be continued.

Grabbing Lunch with Sam Donaldson

Unabashed Texan Sam Donaldson

When I visited Washington DC to tour Georgetown Univesity and GWU with my father in 1975, we stayed at the grand and stately Mayflower Hotel.  As a rube in the big city, I was amazed at the size of this hotel - a full city block long: one could enter on Connecticut Ave. and exit on 17th street.

The northern edge of the hotel was bounded by DeSales Street, NW, a one block long mid-block connector between the two avenues.  And opposite the Mayflower (just outside our window), across DeSales Street at mid-block, was ABC News' Washington DC bureau.  How cool - people making television, right there!

Ten years later, I was working 1/2 block away on 17th Street at the National Geographic Society, and we usd to graze around the neighborhood, picking off a number of researchers from NPR and ABC News when we were staffing up NG EXPLORER.

ABC sits chock-a-block with a parking garage and there was a small, greasy spoon lunch counter there in the mid-80's.  I don't remember the name of it but one day we were all piled in there, jockeying at the counter, when a loud, bold and insistently-recognizable voice cut through the din: "Ham and Swiss!  Right Here!! - That's Mine!!!"  He reached above and across the throng, grabbed the bag, threw a $5 bill at the counter guy who laughed, and he bolted.

"People ask me about my relationship with President Reagan. I say it was a case of two 'hams' discovering each other. Only I played the 'straight man' and he always had the last word."

One of his most widely remembered questions during his tenure at the White House came during the Reagan administration: "Mr. President, in talking about the continuing recession tonight, you have blamed Congress and mistakes in the past. Does any of the blame belong to you?" To which Reagan retorted: "Yes, for many years I was a Democrat!"

Titanic Discoverer Bob Ballard Asked ME For Directions...

Captain Fantastic, Bob Ballard

For a guy who found a needle in a haystack, a mile below the surface and hundreds of miles out in the dark and desolate northern Atlantic ocean, Bob Ballard was clueless on land.

The Titanic went down 100 years ago tonight.  Yours truly was "present" - on the very fringes - at its rediscovery in 1986 and this was a huge, huge thrill!  I was working at National Geographic Television while Ballard's research and exploration grant was in effect, and during 1984 and 1985 we'd get news of hopeful progress that Captain Ballard and his crew were zeroing in - "vectoring" - and that the discovery was close, close, close at hand.  We had film coverage on board, in case he struck gold.

Ballard: "The actual ship was much, much bigger than this!"

The Holy Grail.  Noah's Ark.  The Titanic.  In 20th Century popular ambition, no lost object loomed larger, nor seemed more of an impossible dream.  In all the vast, deep sea, could one man and his team possibly find something so elusive?  The mind boggled to imagine it.

Well, you know the rest: the discovery, later the romantic movie.  In between Bob Ballard became popularized as a hero on par with Edmund Hillary and Howard Carter.  He went on to locate the Bismarck, and to found the Jason project that has educated and engaged thousands and thousands of schoolchildren to be budding scientists and researchers.

We rushed our National Geographic EXPLORER Special onto the air in December 1986 and earned the highest-ever ratings for a basic-cable TV show, with 1 in 8 Americans tuning in that Sunday night.  Later we hired Bob to host National Geographic EXPLORER and he did pretty well for himself - handled the on-air work with charisma for a few seasons, and ended up marrying a young colleague of mine.  Ultimately popularized by James Cameron and depicted by Bill Paxton in the blockbuster "Titanic," Bob is now a permanent icon of Neil Armstrong magnitude.

So, the funny thing was, one sunny day in the summer of 1987 when my UCSB '81 fiancee and I were knocking around Montecito in Santa Barbara, a block inland from the beautiful Biltmore Hotel near El Cabrillo and Channel Drive, a car pulled up, rolled down the window, and a friendly voice said "Hey, can you tell me how to get to Summerland from here?"

My companion yelled at him "Hey! You're Bob Ballard!! We work for Tim Kelly!!"  Immediate recognition (Tim was the leader of NG TV who had flown the edited Titanic show in his hands, via helicopter, to WTBS to make air).  We stood in the street shooting the breeze, recalling the craziness of the previous year's TV production, talking about this or that project that he was working on either at Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute or as a National Geographic "Explorer-In-Residence," and eventually sending him on his way.

Where Am I?  ... And Where's That Darn Ship?

Now, get this: Summerland was about two miles south of where we stood, and on the main road toward Carpinteria and Ventura.  Nobody leaving Santa Barbara bound for LA could get far without immediately seeing signs for Summerland.  And here's the funny thing: much later I learned that among Bob's distinguished credentials he held a dual degree in Chemistry and Marine Biology from UCSB, so he had lived right there in beautiful Isla Vista for four years (he'd also been an ROTC student).

So it's inexplicable to me how a master-class navigator could have been so befuddled.  But we were happy to correct his course, of course, and did see a good bit more of him in his EXPLORER-hosting days from 1989-1991.  A sharp, driven guy with absolute leadership class, who dreams big and is never averse to being in the spotlight.

Oed und leer das meer!

Yo Ho Ho , Me Matey - Mel Fisher and Yours Truly

Kanye West?  KEY WEST!

I struck up a rich friendship with "Treasure Salvor" Mel Fisher in 1985, when he found the Atocha shipwreck and its incredible $450,000,000 bounty of gold coins, mountains of emeralds, and other riches just miles off the coast of Key West....

 The National Geographic Society had supported Mel's research with expedition grants, much as they had supported Bob Ballard in his quest to locate the Titanic.  In a barter for exclusive rights to 'break the story' in its own pages, NGS funded numerous promising, interesting explorers, expeditionists and researchers such as Jane Goodall (chimps), Dian Fossey (gorillas), Louis and Richard Leakey (homo erecti), and Sylvia Earle (sharks) - along with aforementioned gents Ballard et Fisher.  In 1985-86, both of these gentlemanly bets would pay off spectacularly.

"The Atocha Motherlode" as it is known amounted to nearly half a $Billion worth of gold and silver - over 40 tons (and the intervening years have been very kind to the commodity price of precious metals).

Mine, Mine, it's all Mine ...

Even as Mel began hauling the Atocha loot to the surface, word reverberated around the Geographic headquarters - and especially within the TV Division, where our leader Dennis Kane had earlier made a personal investment in Salvors, Inc. (the romance of discovery aside, Fisher is a shrewd businessman; note the prominence given Investor Relations on Fisher's site).

Mel Fisher had to fight the state of Florida over ownership of the trove (Mel won it all at the Supreme Court; he's donated 20% of the find to FL).

We were prepared, and we hastily accelerated a prime time documentary to air on WTBS as a Sunday evening National Geographic Explorer Special.  On Thursday of that week, a panicked call came from Atlanta, where the ad sales office at TBS had noted Mel's personal purchase of a pair of spots, to air during Explorer, in which he personally pitched jewels, coins and artifacts with an (800) #, direct to viewers.

It was the cheesiest commercial imaginable: home-made production values like you'd see in a spot for a local car dealership, Mel draped in gold chains over a Hawaiian shirt, glowing and lit up like W. C. Fields.

Total Class!

The National Geographic saw its sterling reputation for taste, quality and accuracy about to go down the drain! ... and instructed my boss Tim Kelly to talk Mel out of the buy, which he did.

The special, "Atocha: Quest for Treasure" was a giant hit, eclipsed only a year later when we presented "Secrets of the Titanic" following Ballard's histrionic find.  In both cases, we in the hated TV Division had to fight the powers that were, in order to scoop the Magazine where 'breaking news' could be turned into a cover story.. 9 months later at earliest.  So we had to vanquish Bill Garrett and the magaziners in order to get on the air.

Swashbucklers Two: Fisher & Porter

We were victorious in our little battle, so was Mel in his grand quest, and That's The Way It Was.

My Friend Russ Meyer

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, to a HAPPY MAN

One of the true great joys in my life was to know and share laughter with the amazing, brilliant filmmaker Russell Albion Meyer.

I was already a fan dating back to 1975 and SuperVixens, and in awe of the Meyer 'intensely personal and unique vision of the world,' when we met in Las Vegas in 1989 and became friendly.  Over the next several years we saw each other many, many times.  Russ was a guest in my home in Washington DC, and I his guest numerous times in the Hollywood Hills and out in Palm Desert.

We enjoyed a great many meals, film screenings, nights on the town, and sundry adventures - including a rendezvous in Paris, and a day shooting cutaways in the Mojave Desert.  One of the great nights of all time was our dinner, twenty years ago tomorrow night, celebrating Russ's 70th birthday.

Magnum Opus

I was staying at the Bel Air Hotel, and we'd arranged to celebrate in style on the premises. He drove across town, arriving late, and laden with armloads of artwork - Annie Fannie-style illustrations he called "Bust-oons" that he was having prepared for his long-awaited, by then much-unfinished masterpiece "A Clean Breast."  He laid these out on the table at dinner.

We talked about the book, the production hassles, his can't-miss film project ideas (a shot-for-shot remake of Faster Pussycat, Kill! Kill! with LaToya Jackson, for instance), the usual recounting of amorous escapades, and life as an iconoclast in the company town.

Then we turned to his third marriage, to Edy Williams. It turned out the 1970 wedding had taken place on the premises, in the Garden of the Bel Air Hotel.  Russ's tardiness arriving for dinner was due to his having rooted around in the garden on the way in, but he'd gotten lost; we agreed that after dinner we'd scout around to see if we couldn't find the 'scene of the crime.'  Many glasses of wine later, that we did.

To stand under the stars at midnight, stumbling about on the rolling lawns of the Bel Air, while Russ rhapsodized about Edy Williams' charms even as he brandished the rolled-up Bust-oons in the air, batting wildly at the stars, railing against her "shrewishness!" - "But I have no regrets, Sir - I have None At All !"  Pure heaven.

Over many years' time, Russ introduced me to a cavalcade of characters, among them Dave Friedman, Stuart Lancaster, James Anthony Ryan & Bert Santos, Charles Napier, John Lazar and others, as well as trusty Janice and his leading ladies Melissa Mounds, Haji and Tura Satana.  Here is a beautiful clip that provides a glimpse of the work, the spirit and joie de vivre of old RM.

I learned so much from this unique man.  And our friendship meant and still means very much to me.

Thanks for the memories.

Happy 90th Birthday, Russ.

One Degree from Breitbart - An Arthur Sando Moment

Arthur

This day, after Andrew Breitbart's untimely collapse and death in Brentwood, I am remembering Arthur Sando - a hot-shot PR executive at Superstation TBS when I met and worked with him between 1986-1989 to promote National Geographic EXPLORER in the prime 8-10pm Sunday TBS timeslot.

Sando connected with Breitbart less than 24 hours ago, last night at The Brentwood in L.A.  Here's a nice account of their very brief acquaintance and conversation.

I thought of Sando as a bit of a Koren character in a suit and, back in the 80's during our collaboration, when Ohio band Royal Crescent Mob put out its album Omerta (Get On The Bus, Blow One Off, etc.), I fixated on the coda to the cut "Mob's Revenge," in which a voice behind the groove pronounces, like Wolfman Jack naming a song dedication, "This is for Upper Sandusky"  I always, always sang along "This is for Arthur Sando!"

Andrew

R.I.P. , Andy.  Thank You.

A Mile High with Joe Theismann and Cathie Lee Crosby

(IAD, Sunday morning, December 23, 1984):  Vaulting from the tarmac onto a 7:30am flight from Washington to see the family for Christmas, I saw that row 1 was "reserved" (unusual for a PeopleExpress cattle-car), and grabbed the middle seat in row 2.  Eventually every seat on the plane was taken save that first row and the captain announced that we'd be waiting just a minute or two more and then we could 'secure the cabin doors' and be on our way to Boston.

Theismann: Confident in his Masculinity

Moments later, huffing and puffing, into the cabin charge Redskins ace QB Joe Theismann and "That's Incredible" hostess Cathie Lee Crosby.  Each in a floor-length fur coat!

The entire plane roars at the sight of their hometown quarterback and his gorgeous, glamorous girlfriend.  Down they plunk into the row ahead of me.

Cathy Lee: Catfight!

The two were obviously enchanted with each other - totally engrossed, beaming and smiling together the entire short flight.  I too was spellbound.  His stature, her hair, her perfume...  Her hair right there within reach... But I knew enough to not make an ass of myself, so I left them in peace.

CLC - The Poster

Not so restrained, the clown in row 3.  Over my shoulder came a gasping, panting Redskins fan, with pen and airline in-flight magazine in his hand.  Grunting and motioning 'forward', begging, pleading with me to tap Joe on the shoulder for an autograph.  I shook him off, but he kept flailing, so I reached between the seats and interrupted our QB.  "Excuse me," I said.  As he looked back at me, I made a very exaggerated gesture back over my own shoulder, shaking my head, raising my eyebrows and shrugging as if to say "Guys like you and I, Joe - we have to put up with these 'little people' interruptions. I know it's a pain but we understand it comes with the territory!"

I brokered the transaction, in each direction, and then the rest of the flight passed without incident.  When we landed, again there was pomp and circumstance as we were asked to 'remain seated' until our celebrities could de-plane.  That we did.

The two must have felt that they could slip away, for a  moment during this magical "bye-week" bubble of time between the Skins' December 16th 29-27 final game victory over the St. Louis Cardinals, and their coming December 30th 23-19 playoff loss to the Chicago Bears.

Before his next Christmas, Theismann would suffer [see 0:50 in this clip] his terrible, career-ending injury during a sack at the hands of Lawrence Taylor of the Giants.

But on this day - helming the great Washington Redskins, flying high in a fur coat, in love with his sweet All-American girl, and with visions of Christmas sugarplums surely dancing in his head, Joe Theismann was on top of the world.

And I was there with him!

Let's not forget: Cathy Lee played Wonder Woman before Lynda Carter did!