Jonathan Bennett - Teen Heartthrob Sighting on Nantucket

Smooth Operator Bennett w/Juice Guys Smoothie in Hand

Last evening on Main Street, we stumbled upon a swarm of giggling, swooning young girls and then emerged from the scrum Jonathan Bennett - better (best?) known as Aaron Samuels, Lindsay Lohan's love interest in Mean Girls (2004).

You remember the "pencil" scene, don't you?

A "Teen Choice Award" nominee, co-star of Amanda Bynes as well as Ms. Lohan and - by virtue of his turn in Mean Girls - a permanent stimulus to young girls everywhere, Johnathan was followed up and down the cobblestones by a pack of groupies.

the Rocky Road to Stardom

And OMG my intrepid twelve year old - like a moth to the flame - led the pack (though she worried she might be 'stalking').

... like father, like daughter!!  :-)

My Brother, Mr. Mouth-to-Mouth - Scot Samis

If you are preparing for summer beach action and looking for a good kick in the rear, check out or "NetFlix" (verb) the film "Summer Rental," a low-budget early-'80's Rob Reiner gem.  John Candy stars, Rip Torn chews the scenery, and Richard Crenna is riveting as the jackass One-Pecenter whose greed and venality might scuttle Air Traffic Controller Candy's family vacation.

The film was shot in the Tampa/St. Pete basin and needed local talent for extras, so my college buddy Scot Samis, then earning a law degree at Stetson, answered the call of duty.  He so impressed Reiner and crew that they gave him a name ("Russ" rather than Lifeguard #1, #2, ...), wrote him a few lines and bumped him to talking head of the otherwise interchangeable and mute tribe of spear-carrier lifeguards who inhabit the group house next to Candy ("Jack Chester")'s rental.

Mr. Mouth-to-Mouth, Scot Samis, Esq. as "Russ"

Scot's moment in the summer sun comes when he and the gang of roommates charge out of their rental, underneath a jockstrap-festooned clothesline, and he stays behind to meet underage neighbor daughter Jennifer Chester.  The exchange mesmerizes daughter (and provides bedevilment for old dad Jack) when - carrying an inflatable doll - Russ explains that the lifeguards refer to him as "Mr. Mouth to Mouth."

Scot is now a respected lawyer in St. Petersburg, FL.  Well, I still respect him; while presenting a paper recently on "preserving error in the trial court for review on appeal," his wag colleagues unspooled a few choice scenes from Summer Rental on the screen behind him, to prank our unwitting barrister.

His recollections today nearly as crisp as the events were during that "busy" time, Scot shared this with me:

As for an anecdote ... the one that sticks with me is when John Candy, knowing I was a local, told me that he was going on the Pritikin Diet and wanted to go out for one last night of indulgence.  I suggested "Watership Down," a local bar that had a popular reggae band.   He was a classic, big-man raver in the Steel (RIP) tradition - - bellowing at the top of his lungs, buying drinks and even getting up on stage and singing a tune with the band.  I know this is a pretty mundane story, but it was nice to see that he was a good guy.

A Stroll Up-Hill

I'd never refer to him this way today, but I'm proud to recall Scot as my "Little Brother," as he was during the pledging and initiation period of early 1978. Now that he's a big shot, we grateful, aging New Englanders occasionally get to head south for a weekend of nightspot-hopping, and a full battery of Red Sox/Rays games courtesy of the law firm's excellent box seats.

And if I ever find myself in the Pinellas County clink, I have a friend to call....

Goodtime Academic Community Nonsense!

In our little college town, the Candy-colored clowns at the local bakery/coffeshop put on a Candy Symposium during inter-semester break a year ago, and I urged them to include Summer Rental.  We argued over the counter about whether Uncle Buck really topped Summer Rental, and although I think I knew better, the baker held the programmer's lever and proceeded as he wished.

Maybe next semester!

Swing Time in the NBC Commissary with Betty Furness

Dapper Fred, Glamorous Betty

She danced with Fred "Lucky Garnet" Astaire (Swing Time, 1936), and had a good run in the 30's as an RKO contract player. 

But by the time I came along, Betty Furness had served as a consumer protection advocate in the Johnson administration, and had become well-known for consumer affairs reporting on NBC, alongside of - and sometimes substituting for - Barbara Walters.

In the late 1970's, Betty's reporting for NBC was appearing regularly on both the nightly news and the Today Show.

Once at that time, during the college spring break holiday, with brothers and cousin I was visiting my uncle whose office at NBC sat high above the skating rink at Rockefeller Center.

NBC Reports: Furness on Chemicals in Food, Sept. 8, 1976

We marveled at Uncle Tony's executive suite complete with shower, snagged tickets to sit in the audience for Saturday Night Live (host: Christopher Lee, musical guest: Meatloaf), and then headed to the cafeteria for lunch.

Now, the NBC Commissary has been the setting, or itself the butt, of many, many jokes dating back to The Tonight Show and Laugh-In, and the tradition had been perpetuated on SNL.  So we felt excited just to be allowed in there!

A Thermometer for French Fries?

We had just settled in with our lunch-room trays, when Tony pointed out the elegant and proper looking woman at the next table as Betty Furness.  She was eating a healthy, responsible meal of cottage cheese and fruit and she eyed us and our plates of fries with a bit of disdain.

We didn't think much about it at the time, and she thought even less about us I suppose.  But how many women can say they've danced with Fred Astaire?  If I'd only known it at the time, I'd have shaken her hand....

Fellow Breast Man Roger Ebert

Poolside: an Urgent call . . .

Roger Ebert is one of the best ever - perhaps the finest -  movie/film critics in the world over the past 50 years (Take that, Paulene Kael!).  He and partner Gene Siskel (R.I.P.) created the "thumbs up/down" rating shorthand and had true chemistry as a reviewing team. 

Roger is a fanatic, on par with Peter Bogdonovich; he's also always honest and thoughtful - and I think quite fair - in his reviewing.  I appreciated this review of Roger's.  I still disagree with RE about Ryan's Daughter, though....

Thumbs Up !

Usually treated as an amusing footnote to his bio, the young Ebert of 1970 dabbled in debauchery with my hero Russ Meyer as screenplay collaborator on Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.

Ebert Surrounded - the Gang's All Here

In the spring of 2005 I finally got to meet Roger when he was honored with a CINE Lifetime Achievement Award on M street NW in Washington DC.  A friend had invited me to the event at National Geographic TV, and after seeing the Raymonds (Patient Zero progenitors with their high-quality PBS innovation "American Family" that indirectly begat today's 'reality' sewage) honored, I caught up with Roger.

First stop (establishing shot): Men's Room.

"Porter Hall," I introduced myself.  Ebert brightened, quizzically. "We have a good, mutual friend - RM" I continued.  "How do you know Russ?" asked Roger, and we were off.

Initial exposition and plot-set-up.  Backstory.  All that rot.  Choice private anecdotes for validation (see below).  Confirmation.  Camaraderie.  Continuity.  Drama, pathos and everything else, in ten minutes chat and a stroll from the Sumner School building down to the street, round the corner and a sidewalk parting at the cab on 17th street, NW.

Ebert instantly connected the dots - he had heard Russ talk of his Washington 'insider' buddy, referring always to a "Porter Hall," whose original namesake is a shady character whom Ebert/Meyer contrived in the BVD script, played to a villainous T by Duncan McLeod.  Well, that insider is yours truly.

Two Gentlemen without Equal

Roger and I lamented RM's passing the previous September.  By his words about Rus,s it was instantly, abundantly and cantilevered-ly clear that Roger had been as genuine and devoted a friend as any man could ever have.

Now, Russ was without doubt the best raconteur I ever met, with a genius for tale-telling, a vocabulary that he could have copyrighted, and a bottomless well of incredible stories ("Hemingway rousted us out of our fartsacks and paid our way into the best whorehouse in Paris"... "I screwed Uschi all that summer on the carpet of my office at Fox!"... "Ebert got blown by the pool!" ... etc.).

On and On . . .

The bond between Roger and Russ was borne out by the hours of tales RM had spun with me about his exploits with the youthful Ebert, which are more fully chronicled and liberally sprinkled throughout RM's 19-lb., three-volume "Breast of Russ Meyer."  And RM loved to recount these hi-jinks when we were out on the town.  Once, over huge portions of liver and onions at the Daily Grill in Palm Desert, Russ referred to Ebert (with obvious gleeful affection) a "that Moravian bastard!"  Russ was a demanding friend - he had no distractions in his own life other than self-selected obsessions, and he offered little and grudging latitude to those of us whose attention he craved; yet, although he no doubt vied competitively with her for RE's attention, RM always spoke with highest regard for RE's wife Chaz.

When we met, Roger was already struggling with the cancer that would eventually ravage his larynx, shoulder, jawbone, and facial structure.  Head held high, he soldiers on un-deterred, and un-abashed, just like his best friend.

News: Roger Ebert passed away April 4, 2013.

Rest In Peace, and See You At The Movies. 

To Rome With Love - and an Espresso with Vincent Gardenia

The Path to Celebrity Begins on the Via Veneto...

My first youthful brushes with Celebrity involved chance encounters with actors Vincent Gardenia and Jim Nabors (no, they weren't together) - the latter at the then-stately-later-tawdry-now-defunct New Haven Motor Inn, and the former on the always-grand Via Veneto.

At the time - long before People Magazine begat Entertainment Tonight begat E! network begat The Kardashians and their appalling ilk - as a kid from the provinces I was jolted by, then later conditioned to celebrate, the honor of having luckily shared space on mortal ground with "somebody famous."

"Birds fly to the stars, I guess . . . "

The meeting with, rather sighting of, Vincent Gardenia occurred one beautifully sunny spring afternoon in April, 1970 as our family strolled away to the southeast from the Villa Borghese and down the Via Veneto on our Easter-time Roman Holiday.

Passing the glorious Hotel Excelsior,it was la mia cara madre, native of Avella in the Campana province inland of Naples, who spotted the star.  Signor Gardenia, nee Vincenzo Scognamiglio and also a Naples paesano.  He was sipping an espresso at an outdoor table and "watching the world go by."  E anche noi: he watched us go by too.

Perhaps Vincenzo was studying a script as he sipped, for his upcoming project, Norman Lear's Cold Turkey, to shoot that summer in Des Moines.  Co-staring with an incredible cast that included among many others Dick Van Dyke, Tom Poston (as town tippler), Jean Stapleton and evil Bob Newhart, our Signor Gardenia would play the Mayor in this fantastic farce.  Among later work, he is well recalled as Frank Lorenzo from All In The Family, Mr. Mushnik in Little Shop of Horrors, and Cosmo Castorini in Moonstruck.

Mayor Wappler Goes for Broke, as the Clock Strikes Midnight

And while we're in Rome together, . . .

[ - SPOILER ALERT -

I will explain the crux and creative impetus of "To Rome With Love," as it will of me, a questo punto: ]

To Rome With Love treats the Woody Allen fan to a comic collage of four (five) parallel plots involving ten+ relationships (the term "relationships" being understood to span a continuum of consummated human interactions).  Comedy and pathos abound - it's a good Woody film, nearly on par with Midnight in Paris, not as 'whole' but rather a rollicking mash-up, and equally effective as una posta-carta magnifica (senza francobolli), for the national tourism industry - in this case, the Italians.

Quando dico che ti amo . . .

The common thread?  Celebrity.

Its pursuit by Monica destroys Jack's earnest but illicit dreams; its unaccountable appearance makes Leopold a reluctant, anonymity-craving sensation - and its disappearance drives him mad; its allure leads Giancarlo to allow Woody/Jerry to parade him naked and soaking wet across Rome's Teatro dell' opera stage; and its attraction mesmerizes la paesana Milly into forgetting her new marriage on the chance of bedding down with film star Luca.  To a degree, everyone - even the pro-bono idealist and hard-leftee Michelangelo - succumbs sooner or later to the lash of celebrity.  Nearly everyone, that is: the one honest, psychologically 'healthy' line of the film is uttered by il Rapinatore, the hotel thief (who 'also dabbles in break-ins and hold-ups').  As screen star Luca Salta weakly protests robbery, saying "Don't you know who I am?" the thief retorts, instantly and con forza: "I Don't Care!"

I encourage everyone to see To Rome With Love.  Any film in which Alec Baldwin ("I'm here from Downtown - I'm here from Mitch an' Murray!") plays the foreseeing conscience, the angel Clarence, is going to be a winner in my book [Note: Baldwin's character, architect John Foy, does not really exist - or, probabilmente, he is the only character in his vignette who exists].  But moreso, To Rome With Love a splendidly entertaining and inventive paean to the fickleness, elusiveness and risk of celebrity - and our obsessions with it.

Arrivaderci, Roma!

 

On-Stage with Tony Goldwyn

Tony Goldwyn ... presently President Fitz ... formerly Crow

He's the President of the United States now - on Scandal, that is - but in 1978 he was just a fresh-faced lad landing the second lead in a campus production of Sam Shepard's "Tooth of Crime," and we became friends.

Lights, Camera, Beer... in the Pub

My roommate and fraternity brother Chris Walsh played the aging and decidedly Jagger-esque rock star Hoss, who is challenged and ultimately unseated by the up-and-coming rock star Crow, played by freshman Tony Goldwyn.  This play was cast during the early autumn and produced that semester.

7 Truly Bold Plays by Master Sam

Four of us - Dave Scofield, Dave Schleifer, John S. Keim, and yours truly - comprised the band.  Billed as the "Overhead Lifters," the band was on-stage and the music was an up-front element of the play, particularly during Becky's soliloquy, and the scene when the two rockers square off inside a boxing ring as the Rolling Stones' "Sister Morphine" plays.

In another scene, Crow warms up for a confrontation by singing Cream's "I'm So Glad."

Following this exposure to Sam Shepard, I became a fan - and particularly loved seeing the Quaid brothers tear up the stage in "True West" at the Cherry Lane theater in 1984.  As for Tooth of Crime, I can recite every word of dialog in this fantastic play.

What I most vividly remember about our little Minor Theater production at Hamilton College are two mesmerizing, invigorating vignettes: Tony warming up behind stage using bizarre impressive and in-your-face method acting technique, and - in the second act, night after night - "Becky" taking her shirt off ten feet away on-stage, while delivering a bitter monologue.

Have a "Futchnerf's" Summer

Chris and I tried unsuccessfully to rush Tony for Psi Upsilon, but he went to Sigma Phi instead, and ultimately left Hamilton early.  Next stop was Brandeis University and I don't believe he even admits to having attended Hamilton, now.

I ran into Tony on the street in NYC the summer of 1980, and since then I've seen him as you have: a cad in Ghost, a lawyer in The Pelican Brief, behind camera (as Director) with the tremendous A Walk on the Moon, and now - his star turn on TV as Fitzgerald Grant, President of the USA, in Scandal.

I suppose that Tooth of Crime - the zenith of my own stage career, as I never auditioned for anything else, before or after - was a small but wildly interesting steppingstone on Mr. Goldwyn's path to craft mastery.  I remember Tony well as a genuinely nice guy,  unassuming - even quiet, while also full of energy and intensity - a totally committed thespian.

And he's really knocking it out of the park on Scandal!

"I'll develop my own image. I'm an original man. A one and only. I just need some help."

... as Crow, in Tooth of Crime

My Friend Russ Meyer

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, to a HAPPY MAN

One of the true great joys in my life was to know and share laughter with the amazing, brilliant filmmaker Russell Albion Meyer.

I was already a fan dating back to 1975 and SuperVixens, and in awe of the Meyer 'intensely personal and unique vision of the world,' when we met in Las Vegas in 1989 and became friendly.  Over the next several years we saw each other many, many times.  Russ was a guest in my home in Washington DC, and I his guest numerous times in the Hollywood Hills and out in Palm Desert.

We enjoyed a great many meals, film screenings, nights on the town, and sundry adventures - including a rendezvous in Paris, and a day shooting cutaways in the Mojave Desert.  One of the great nights of all time was our dinner, twenty years ago tomorrow night, celebrating Russ's 70th birthday.

Magnum Opus

I was staying at the Bel Air Hotel, and we'd arranged to celebrate in style on the premises. He drove across town, arriving late, and laden with armloads of artwork - Annie Fannie-style illustrations he called "Bust-oons" that he was having prepared for his long-awaited, by then much-unfinished masterpiece "A Clean Breast."  He laid these out on the table at dinner.

We talked about the book, the production hassles, his can't-miss film project ideas (a shot-for-shot remake of Faster Pussycat, Kill! Kill! with LaToya Jackson, for instance), the usual recounting of amorous escapades, and life as an iconoclast in the company town.

Then we turned to his third marriage, to Edy Williams. It turned out the 1970 wedding had taken place on the premises, in the Garden of the Bel Air Hotel.  Russ's tardiness arriving for dinner was due to his having rooted around in the garden on the way in, but he'd gotten lost; we agreed that after dinner we'd scout around to see if we couldn't find the 'scene of the crime.'  Many glasses of wine later, that we did.

To stand under the stars at midnight, stumbling about on the rolling lawns of the Bel Air, while Russ rhapsodized about Edy Williams' charms even as he brandished the rolled-up Bust-oons in the air, batting wildly at the stars, railing against her "shrewishness!" - "But I have no regrets, Sir - I have None At All !"  Pure heaven.

Over many years' time, Russ introduced me to a cavalcade of characters, among them Dave Friedman, Stuart Lancaster, James Anthony Ryan & Bert Santos, Charles Napier, John Lazar and others, as well as trusty Janice and his leading ladies Melissa Mounds, Haji and Tura Satana.  Here is a beautiful clip that provides a glimpse of the work, the spirit and joie de vivre of old RM.

I learned so much from this unique man.  And our friendship meant and still means very much to me.

Thanks for the memories.

Happy 90th Birthday, Russ.

Julie Montgomery: The Girl Next Door

All American Beauty Julie Montgomery

Growing up, my favorite adventures were always to visit cousin Frank in Livingston, New Jersey.  We used to run around at night and ring doorbells, or climb on the roof of the school and throw firecrackers, sometimes with other nerds on the block.

As we 'came of age,' lo and behold but the girl literally next door to Frankie-boy, Julie Montgomery, got work as a regular on One Life To Live in the popular and long-running role of Samantha  Vernon (see video 0:10 - 0:30).

Long-running enough, that is, that she ultimately played Samantha Vernon Buchanon, later still becoming Vernon Buchanon Garretson

Julie moved west to try her hand at films and made a bunch of interesting entry-level projects - Senior Trip ('xploiter), Girls Night Out (slasher), eventually progressing to Stewardess School ('xploiter), and so forth . . . Until the big break in 1984: Revenge of the Nerds (0:49:00) as Betty Childs.

Some recall that Julie bared it all for the screen in this classic.  I certainly do.

It's Tom. My Aunt Next Door Needs A Cup of Sugar

Julie later starred in Revenge III and IV.  But II ? Well, legend - on the always reliable Internet - has it that :

"Julia Montgomery refused to reprise her role as Betty because in the original script Betty is caught cheating on Lewis. Montgomery felt it betrayed the change in her character from the first film. Joe Roth offered to have the scene re-written but Montgomery still refused. She eventually returned for the following sequels. Lewis is shown packing a picture of Betty in the beginning of the film implying they are still together. Ironically, this means that Lewis cheated on Betty with Sunnie."

Fascinating, don't you think?!

What Nerds We Were

The ground was fertile on Rock Hill Drive, and Julie's older sister Suzanne was an even more beautiful brunette, although she didn't go into acting as far as I know.

Still, reaction-inciting Hill-Topper classmates up the block at the local public school included the eventually notorious funnyman Jay Greenspan (a.k.a. Jason Alexander), attitude snot Chelsea Handler, and Governor/future President Chris Christie.  Must have been something in that Livingston water.

The great news is, after nearly 20 years off the screen, Julie is coming back in 2012 in a flick called "Altered Reality."  More to come on this.  Until then,

Have I but One Life To Live - after this one, that is - surely let it be with Julie Montgomery...

My Two Dates with Kathleen Turner... and a 28-Years-Late Thank You!

Do you remember where you were when you saw Body Heat in 1981?  I do... both times.

I had success on a first date with a college co-ed early that autumn, after watching the intensely seductive film together.  We spent the next three months together, and then parted ways when she had to leave town.  By December, I was barking up another tree and invited my new flame to watch Body Heat with me.  It had worked once, so why not?

"You're not very smart, are you? ... I like that in a man."

Well, this next relationship lasted two and a half years.

Nearly thirty years later, Kathleen visited our little burg of Amherst MA to help celebrate the Amherst Cinema and Pleasant Street Theater in our first annual Gala.  It was a beautiful night, and she really captivated the room.  No question that she's Still Got It.

Heat vs Humidity

After Q&A in which the Hollywood and accomplished stage actress shared brash insights and frank anecdotes, I saw my opening and pinned her down.  She locked on an listened to every word, every lurid detail of my story - chuckling, raising an eyebrow, tossing her hair...

"WELLDIDITWORK??!!" came the demand.

What do you think? was my reply.

We'll Meet Again...

Hearty-and-I-mean-hearty guffaw and a Big Wink from the star.  "I SHOULD HOPE SO!  ATTABOY!"

Twenty-six years ago tonight at the 1986 Academy Awards, Ms. Turner was a nominee for Best Actress in Peggy Sue Got Married.  But she and I go back a bit further than that, to two lovely, portentious nights.  We'll always have heat.

As I told Ms. Turner, I'll forever be grateful

R.I.P. Charles Napier - He Put the Square Jaw in "Big Bosoms (and...)"

Napier: "Where's The Growler?!"

Farewell to Charles Napier - a tremendous character actor who embodied the best and the worst of power & authority.  He died at age 75 on Wednesday in Bakersfield, CA.

Napier and his leering, maniacally toothful smile captivated audiences in Super Vixens, Blues Brothers, Rambo, Silence of the Lambs, and a host of other films over his long career.

Russ Meyer's - A Life Well-Lived

My first-ever theater experience of a Russ Meyer film (Campus Cinemas III, Hadley, MA) was Super Vixens, and it's still my favorite of all his masterpieces.  Charles Napier, as homicidal cop Harry Sledge, is the dastardly accelerant that propels the film, bedeviling Clint Ramsey hither and yon.  As Ramsey, Charley Pitts charges from one pair of breasts to another (six abreast -that's twelve breasts all told; fourteen if you count Angel and SuperAngel separately), one step ahead of Sledge, like the Road Runner leading Wile E. Coyote a merry chase.

Napier, Eubanks - Mountaintop Tableaux

You'll think twice, "Hoss!" after seeing how Sledge brutalizes Angel (Shari Eubanks) - beating and stabbing her before electrocuting her - how? - by dropping a plugged-in radio into her bathtub.  In 1975, the whole thing was one of the most gory, protracted killing scenes that had been played out on screen.

Charles "Super Vixen" Napier

Of course in Meyer's world, Shari comes back to life as SuperAngel and runs around the desert in high heels and a crazily-short waitress uniform, the whole thing ultimately leading to a mountain-top square-off punctuated by a long, raucous series of harsh and non-sensical threats and taunts bellowed across the echoing valley by Sledge, like "She'll squeeeeeeeze ya like a lemon!" and "Why buy a cow, when y'can git free milk?!"  SuperAngel ultimately has her revenge in, let's say, the film's explosive climax.

In 1994, I was fortunate to have an introduction to Charles by RM himself when Napier was in Vegas to promote the video release of "Raw Justice" (re-titled for video as "Good Cop, BackCop") in which Charles had played Mayor Stiles, whose daughter's death is to be avenged.  When I met Napier, I persuaded him to re-deliver the 'free milk' line - and he roared when I told him of the movie's indelible power and imagery 'persisting for me from boyhood to adulthood Undiminished, and Unrefined' - he recognized the reference and hooted "Thank you, Mr. Portnoy!"

Super Vixens (1975) - Harry Sledge . . . about to Explode

Russ chided Napier over having given him his first feature break, as a crooked sheriff in Cherry, Harry and Raquel (1970) before casting him for Super Vixens in the defining role of Harry Sledge.  When Chuck rebutted that he'd appeared in two earlier films (a dog Western and an obscure Swedish vehicle) and cameo'd on Star Trek before their meet-up, Meyer rejected those as 'nonsense,' and corrected himself: "Not your first break, but your only important break."

Our star said that he mostly "played (him)self, or some version of (him)self."  But Charles Napier had a serious talent that went beyond central-casting villainy, and was especially admirable playing Judge Garnett in the beautiful film, "Philadelphia."  An Army man before heading to Hollywood, Napier had the features, the intensity, and the talent to capture authority in its best and worst forms.

Charles Napier, b. April 12, 1936 - d. October 5, 2011

God rest his merry soul!

My Cousin the Hero: Jerry Della Salla

My cousin Jerry is an actor and writer, former Diamond Gloves boxer, and all around GREAT KID who was living in Brooklyn ten years ago.  Following September 11, he joined the National Guard, vowing to defend NYC in the event of any future attack.  As way leads on to way, he was eventually called up for the full tour of duty in Iraq.

Jerry reads it and weeps at send-off

PAPI and crew... VINDICATORS!

My brothers and I traveled to NYC in Red Sox caps just following the 2004 baseball season, to meet Jerry the Yankees fan for a send-off lunch before he reported to Fort Dix for training.

The next thing we knew in early 2005, he'd been shipped out with security forces to Abu Ghraib to keep peace following the prison scandal.

Shortly that spring, Jerry was present to defend the prison during a 4+ hour seige involving an internal uprising and multiple coordinated simultaneous external attacks and diversions.  He was shot but the U.S. forces held the line and Jerry later received The Combat Action Badge and is under review for the Purple Heart.  Among Jerry's other medals and citations are the Army Good Conduct Medal, the Army Achievement Medal, The Generals Coin for Excellence, The Iraqi Campaign Medal and the Global War on Terrorism Medal.  He's a great soldier and the real deal.

Months later, I broke down in tears, the day the news came that Jerry had returned safely home from the war after serving his full 13 month tour.  He'd made it home.

Subsequently, Jerry participated in a virtual-reality-assisted PTSD therapy session presented by PBS on FRONTLINE.  Watch this - it is riveting.

Jerry continues his career as an actor.  In 2008, Matt Damon cast Jerry, and other "real vets" in the Paul Greengrass film "Green Zone."  As Sgt. Wilkins, Jerry has several great scenes and interesting lines, including one made notorious in which he tells Matt, "We're here to do a job and get home safe, that's all - the reasons don't matter!"

Jerry - as Army Squad Sgt. Jerry Wilkins

On 9/11/01, our cousin Doug Pedalino was reporting to work in New Jersey for the last time; his company was to relocate him the following Monday, 9/17, to the 99th floor of tower #2. If the attack had been carried out a week later - and it might have - we could have lost Dougie.

Give thanks today for your freedom, and count your blessings.

Jerry, you are my hero and I salute you, Cousin!

Lucy Wilson Benson - Absolute Class

I can't tell you enough about how much I admire this lady!  My friend Lucy Wilson Benson serves as Chairman of the Board for the Amherst Cinema Arts Center, operator of the Amherst Cinema and the Pleasant Street Theater.  It has been my privilege to meet and get to know her whilst serving on the Board myself for the past four years.

In Virtue, One Gains Knowledge...

"You Never Can Tell!"  A devoted Smith College alumna, (Class of '49), Lucy married an Amherst man - Physics professor Bruce Benson - and has scaled the heights.  The phrase "distinguished career" is so often overused, but it fits Lucy like a smart Peck and Peck suit.  She became local, then state, then (1968-1974) national head of the League of Women Voters. Jimmy Carter named her Undersecretary of State, at the time the highest ranking woman ever at the State Department. 

''Don't ask me what it feels like to be a woman Under Secretary of State, because I don't know. I do know what it is like to be an Under Secretary of State, however.''

Lucy later served our state exceptionally as MA Secretary of Human Services under Governor Mike Dukakis.  A woman with clear head, a quick tongue - always constructive and right to the point.  A lover of life and funny as hell.

Two Beauties of the Silver Screen

Here is a nice profile written a few years back, in the Amherst College campus paper, about LWB.

I am proud to know Lucy - she went out to change the world after college, did so, and has remained our "United Nations of Amherst" treasure.

And her hair is spectacular!

Happy Mother's Day, from Ben Stiller and Kate Hudson

Ben, Kate, have you called your mothers yet today?

Happy Mother's Day,
Anne Meara, the cheek-pinching mom,
and same to you Goldie Hawn, the mom I'd like to pinch!

With love,

TOM

Coffee with Mariel - My Personal Best

Let Me Hear Your Body Talk, Mariel Hemingway

A perk of my service at Discovery Channel: to represent Discovery's interests on the planning committee setting up the first annual Jackson Hole Wildlife Film Festival in the early '90's.


As you can imagine, this involved very hard work visiting Jackson Hole, scouting party locations, and rubbing elbows with the beautiful people.


None more beautiful than Mariel Hemingway.  As the first Festival unfolded, with all the action centered in and around the spectacular Jackson Hole Lodge, the coffeeshop became the place to go for meetings and schmoozing.  So there we were on the second morning, tucking into pastries and coffee ourselves, when in walked Mariel, husband, and trailing producer.

Coffee Was Enough - DAYENU !!

She was pitching a crusading wildlife film on - who knows what - and sat down right across the counter from us.

At a not quite intimate distance, Mariel and I faced each other for about ten minutes.

I caught her eye and smiled. She ordered her coffee black.  She smiled. And that's it.

It was enough!

"... and she drank the good coffee, and it was good."

Elizabeth Taylor, R.I.P.

February 27, 1932 - March 23, 2011

Elizabeth Taylor is the only celebrity appearing in Celebrity Romp whom I never actually met (although we did attend movies at the same cinema).

Liz and I, in our prime ...

Here's another great picture from 1970 - "our year."
We shared a birthday.  It is sad that she is gone.

A Short Swim with Tark the Shark

From 1989 to 1995 I paddled in the sharkpool that is the annual VSDA convention, un-spooling every summer in stiflingly hot Las Vegas.  It's the trade show where all the big home video releases are promoted before the fall/pre-holiday buying cycle.

Tark SharkBite

Christopher Lloyd signs autographs

The LV Hilton exhibit hall would be packed:  Up front: Hollywood Studios with big booths and wild promotions (Warner Bros: "Get your picture taken in front of the car from Lethal Weapon and next to a cardboard standee of Mel Gibson!"; Paramount: "George 'Sulu' Takei signing autographs, 3-4pm today!").

Middle of the pack: independent video publishers, from desperate chop shops like United Video with Go-Go-Gophers, to one-hit golden geese (Lyons Group with the Barney franchise, Andrew Solt selling the Ed Sullivan archive), to high-end special interest catalogs (Kultur, Pacific Arts).

Walking the floor in Vegas...

In the back of the hall, behind a curtain: the motor that drove the video store business - porn.  But that's another story or two....

So it's 1994 and we're set up in our little Discovery Channel booth in the "Special Interest" section, showing off Nature, Science, History (a.k.a. Military), People & Places, and Human Adventure titles.  Coming up the aisle? A glowering, lumbering hulk with a low-brow look, surrounded by an entourage of husky peackeepers and a school of beanpole remoras (remorae?).  It's him!  The Towel Chewer - Jerry Tarkanian!

Tark coached the UNLV "Runnin' Rebels" hoop team, and had been notorious for over 20 years for his winning ways, NCAA-infuriating violations of recruiting and other policies, and "questionable associations" with Las Vegas sports, gambling and other nefarious denizens.  The hoop arena was close by, nearly around the corner on the short drive between the strip and McCarran airport.  He must have just popped over to review the fun at the rear of the hall.

I had all of three seconds in the paint, to think fast, pick, roll, and reach for the spinner rack.  With Discovery's annual "Shark Week" stunt coming shortly and already getting heavy on-air promotion, we'd featured a series of Shark titles in the booth.  "Hey Tark!  Sign my Shark box!" He ambled over, took the magic marker from me and scribbled "Tark the Shark" across its face, and kept moving.

I later gave the box to a wide eyed intern as a prize for some sort of sales support contest.

Don't Miss: "Jerry Tarkanian and other Runnin' Rebels" premiering tonight and playing all this month during March madness, on HBO!

My Roman Holiday with Elizabeth Taylor

I did promise Liz that, if she was up to it, we'd hit DePaolo's in Turners Falls tonight...

Steppin' out tonight!
The way we were: Academy Awards, 1970

And then popcorn and Champagne in bed, while we watch the 83rd Academy Awards.  All for love, Liz!  :-)

A Wonder Woman Double-Latte: At Starbucks with Lynda Carter

Obama, I Beg You: Extend the Patriot Act!

!!! Feb 25 Update:
Celebrity Romp Plea Heeded: Obama Reverses, Signs Patriot Act Extension.

After her Hollywood success beautiful Lynda Carter (don't call her "Linda!") married Robert Altman - no, not Pret-a-Porter, Nashville and The Player Bob Altman, but Washington insider and J. Clark (BCCI scandal) Clifford confrere "super-lawyer" Robert Altman.  A Hollywood-on-the-Potomac SuperHero marriage.

A question of cup size...

In 2000, I was living a few streets away from the Heroes in Potomac MD, and involved in some technology start-up projects around the busy Washington region.

All day long one would ping-pong from Starbucks (Potomac, Bethesda) to The Palm (Tyson's Corner), to the Hyatt (Reston), and then into the District to the Four Seasons, the (other/original) Palm, the Jockey Club, or the Washington Hotel rooftop (all downtown) pitching and hearing pitches: Exhilaration and Nonsense in unequal measure.  "Stimulation."

Hot Camaro w/Lynda hood art, courtesy AirBoston Graphics

While the hustle was bustling, a low sexy murmur whispered in the background.  There is a class of women whom you know from Bravo's "Real Housewives" franchise, who sport the daytime uniform: make-up, diamond tennis bracelet, and track suit.  We wags called these "eating suits," because usually the Real Housewives of Potomac wore this costume to drop off the kids at pre-school, hit Starbucks, then the salon, and lunch at the Hunter's Inn before perhaps cozying up for a golf lesson at the Congressional Country Club (or a private riding lesson with an Argentine polo star).

Lynda Carter didn't need any of that stimulation - but this particular morning she did need caffeine, so she breezed into Starbucks and out again, a tall go-cup in her beautiful hand.

She came at me face-first.  And smiled!  Navy blue track suit; no golden wrist shackles nor tiara.

I did not even manage the pathetic "You're! You're/- uhh - Lynda Carter!"

Instead, there my meeting and I sat, flat-footed and slack-jawed.  The blue eyes sparkled and she sparkled.

"Change their minds and Change the world!" And then she was out of my life forever.

How Much Froth Can An All-American Boy Stand?